IF ONLY I COULD

if i could run to you, i would,
and try to explain again
with inadequate words
what this time with you has meant.
if i could give you more than i have,
please believe that i would.
still am i bound by resistant ties
that disallow this beginning to become
all that which my heart would chose.
if i could love you again, i would,
and rest again in you arms to stay
these memories from growing cold.
if it would prevent all of this,
then that's where i'd be,
rather that looking out at the sea
where we've so recently been.
would that i could undo
the hurt in your eyes,
as you turned from me,
and this ending not so final be.
but i chose to wound, rather than to mislead.
please see there is no hope for us.
if only i could believe
that you will finally forgive,
yet i know you won't, i, so painfully aware
that i our love into the most grievous
missed opportunity condemned.